Panic in Produce

Today was National Donut Day, and I was not offered one this morning at Dunks when I bought my coffee.

Even though I would have only had one bite, who doesn’t like a free pastry?

So instead, I ate my breakfast and imagined it was a chocolate glazed donut, with extra glaze Smile

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Looks like a donut right?…

  • 1 container Plain Fage 0%
  • 1/2 cup cooked brown rice
  • 1/4 thinly sliced banana
  • blueberries
  • walnuts
  • cinnamon

With my Black coffee, that I drink with a straw since I’m a spiller.

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coffee stains on your shirt are not cute.

Before I get to my horrendous story from this afternoon, here was today’s workout.

Chest

  • 3 sets of 15: Push Ups
  • 3 sets of 12: Chest Flies
  • 3 sets of 12: V-Flies

Shoulders

  • 3 sets of 12: Front Raise
  • 3 sets of 12: Lateral Raise
  • 3 sets of 12: Overhead Press

Abs

  • 2 sets of 50: Bicycle Crunches
  • 2 sets of 25(per side) Twisting Plank
  • 1 Minute Plank

Cardio

  • 20 minutes: Elliptical
  • 10 minute: Incline Treadmill Walk

Stretch

OK, story time.

Buckle up, it’s gonna get rowdy.

After the gym, I headed over to the supermarket to grab a few things that I was running low on. As I stood in the produce section, scanning the blueberry cartons for any fuzzy berry’s (gross), I overhead a woman talking to her two young son’s about a new apple she’d just found.

I didn’t think anything of it, until I heard her state the following, in an awe struck and proud tone;

“Look guys, grape flavored apples! You want to try them?” “Oh look, there’s bubblegum and watermelon flavored too!” “Which do you want?”

Come again? Did I hear her correctly?

Let me just say that this woman was by no means at a healthy weight, nor were her children, who became way too excited about their mom’s “healthy find”. I on the other hand, wanted to slap some sense into her overly processed brain.

I couldn’t help but stare at her with a disgusted look on my face, which she of course noticed, since I don’t hide my emotions very well.

She proceeded to ask me, “What? Aren’t these cool?”  To which I blurted out; “Are you kidding me right now? Grape flavored apples?” “How about eating an apple that tastes like an apple? Isn’t that the whole point of eating one?”

Too harsh?

She stared blankly at me as I added, “If I wanted grapes I’d eat a grape. If I wanted gum, I’d buy a pack of Trident, no what I mean?”

I think I got my point across since her face turned bright red, but it was too late. Her son’s literally ripped open the package of grape apples and chomped on them like a chocolate bunny at Easter.

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Kids: 1. Mom: 0

Honestly, what kid is going to want a regular apple when they can have a “fun”, different flavored apple? And since when does fruit have to be fun!?

We wonder why America’s percentage of obesity is on the rise.

WE HAVE FRIGGEN GRAPE FLAVORED APPLES!!!

I had to further my research on this product because it literally boggled my mind.

Here is what I found.

There are TWO companies producing these knock off fruits; Grapple and Crazy Apples .

Following in the footsteps of the masterminds behind the Grāpple, the folks at Crazy Apples, Inc. decided that boring, apple-flavored apples were très passé.    So in an attempt to fix something that wasn't necessarily broken to begin with, "fruit entrepreneur" Greg Berndt came up with these individually packaged apples in three new EXCITING flavors: Pomegranate Grape, Tropical Blast, and Bubble Gum. (Ingredients: whole apple, natural flavorings, with no added sugars or preservatives.)

Grapple uses the catchy tagline “Crunches like an apple. Taste’s like a Grape”, and also has the following list of Ingredients: apple, natural and artificial flavor

Since when do apples have artificial anything? Unless it’s a candy apple, which is exactly what this is.

Then we have Crazy Apples, who claim that their flavors are “just as healthy as eating a regular apple”, and are also “vegetarian and all natural”.

That’s great, except for the fact that “All Natural” does not mean a thing.

Any added flavor that is not meant to be there, especially if it’s zero calories, means aspartame, sucralose, dextrose, maltose.  All chemically made ingredients that should never touch a perfectly sweet piece of fruit.

Crazy Apples even goes on to say that their bubble gum flavor comes from “a careful mix of dozens of natural flavors, which seems crazy to us too!”

Um, yea, it’s crazy because it’s Bullshit. Smile

As a personal trainer and advocate for healthy living, I found it was my duty to educate this woman on the outrageous purchase she was about to make.

Think about what you’re about to buy before you buy it.

Of course we all have our guilty pleasures, but when it comes to fruit, stick to the real thing.These apples shouldn’t have even been in the produce section. It’s false advertisement.

Give your kids a REAL apple, REAL grapes, and REAL watermelon. Do not introduce this garbage to their bodies, or to yours.

Check the ingredients list on everything, and if it seems to good to be true, or you can’t pronounce half of the stuff in it, put it back on the shelf.

End of rant.